9. Johnny Sasaki
Johnny Sasaki appears in every MGS title, and is one of the unluckiest guys in the world. In MGS1, 2 and 4, he is the same person, and the Johnny in MGS3 is his equally diarrhoea-prone grandfather. Let's put this in perspective: in MGS1, Meryl knocks him out and takes his uniform. He later catches a stomach bug, whereby his frequent trips to the toilet can facilitate Snake's escape from Ocelot's torture chamber. The stomach bug returns with a vengeance in MGS2, in the scene where Raiden is supposed to be using the directional microphone to listen in on an important conversation between Ocelot, Solidus and Olga. However, if you've had enough cutscenes and macho banter for one MGS, you can aim the mic over to the left (just behind the flagpole) and listen to the unfortunate fellow talking to himself as he struggles with a bout of diarrhoea. At least in the first three games there's the luxury of a toilet to run off to. When the brown rain strikes in MGS4, though, there is nothing the poor man can do as it visibly soaks through his trousers. It's probably fair to say that this is the most WTF moment in Johnny's personal - and extensive - repertoire (skip to 09:39 in the video).