Dead Space 2 is, despite what you believe, not a survival horror game. No, it's an educational experience that teaches you several valuable life lessons. Firstly, if you ever find yourself stranded in space with horribly-mutated humans, you need to kill them with lasers. Lots of them. Secondly - and this is the most important one - never, ever attempt to perform laser eye surgery on yourself. In poor Isaac's defence, he didn't really have the time to schedule an appointment with a professional - due to everyone aboard the Sprawl being dead already - but reading a manual first probably would have been a good idea. Why would a man in danger of being killed any moment take a time out to do such a thing, you ask? Well, there's some hidden information encoded onto Isaac's brain (obviously) and he needs to use the machine to unlock it... or something. Just watch. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9crCGMh4j9g
Joe is a freelance games journalist who, while not spending every waking minute selling himself to websites around the world, spends his free time writing. Most of it makes no sense, but when it does, he treats each article as if it were his Magnum Opus - with varying results.
