20 Things All Parents Of Minecraft-Obsessed Kids Will Understand

When they start watching Minecraft porn, it's time to step in.

Minecraft is an absolute phenomenon. In the span of only a few short years, the simplistic looking survival game has become one of the most wildly known games on the planet, with merchandising that rivals Star Wars at its most ridiculous (BB-8 oranges, anyone?). There are spin-off games, toys, books, online video series' and yes, even a movie in the works. Minecraft is more or less everywhere you look these days. And the reason why you're seeing so much Minecraft lately is simple; Microsoft paid a king's ransom of two and a half BILLION dollars for the series, so they aren't going to let it go to waste. To put that into perspective, Disney bought the decades-old money machine that was Star Wars for four billion, not even double what Minecraft sold for, despite being a much older and much larger money-making property. The victims of all this Minecraft overload however, are the parents. There's so much Minecraft stuff out there that anyone not familiar with the series has little chance of getting what their kids actually want, and perhaps less of a chance to understand what they're being told in the process. So, in amongst attempting to understand the advent of digital Lego, here are twenty things every parent has been forced to endure for their Minecraft-obsessed kids.

20. Memorabilia Costs HOW MUCH?!

Kids want a stick with an LED on the end of it? $20. How about those mystery bags that are so popular these days? Those will run you at least $5 each and they almost always end up being something like an eraser top for a pencil.

19. The Indescribable Pain Of Stepping On A Creeper Toy

Have you ever stepped on LEGO? It hurts to a point that most humans consider unreasonable, but it is nothing compared to stepping on a Creeper toy. The edges on those things are like knives. You can throw shards of broken glass on the floor at night to simulate what its like.
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Any time I'm not writing, I'm likely arguing about children's cartoons with strangers on the internet or staring at my ceiling and wondering where it all went wrong.