5. You're Surrounded by Unfamiliar Faces
It started as a trickle. In fact, you were probably proud of it. You sat at your desk as a new manager with current professionals in your charge. Men you knew, who you'd seen on the television. But, wonderful though this was, it lacked the personal touch. Then you saw him- everyone remembers their first; that sixteen year-old phenom languishing in your youth team, all bright eyes and limitless potential. It didn't matter that he looked like no human being should look, that he technically didn't exist. He was yours. You dragged him up through the reserves and into the firsts. He played out a long and storied career, with you mentoring him all the way. Yet over time, the dam burst. These prodigies just kept on popping out of the woodwork, year after year, at every club under the sun. Then one day, whilst you weren't looking, these fugly-faced men took over the world. The real men retired to careers behind the scenes, leaving you with a dressing room full of only these impostors. At that moment your wise assistant manager, a sage middle-aged fellow by the name of Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, tells you that Joe Bloggs has concerns he'd like to discuss with you. You begin to weep, and wonder where it all went wrong.