5 Signs You've Been Playing Football Manager Way Too Long

2. Hilarious Silliness Has Occurred

A big part of what makes FM so inherently addictive is that even when you're catapulted into the future, the world is still very much anchored in the laws of reality. Andre Vilas-Boas might become a wily old manager, but you still believe that the world in which you operate continues to be an accurate reflection of the real world. Leo Messi's average rating still reflects his current feats (8.15? Bloody hell!) and Nigel de Jong continues to be sent off for constantly re-enacting Van Damme's Bloodsport on hapless midfielders. But then comes a point when FM takes a sharp turn and falls violently off the cliff of believability. It can be very sudden, but make no mistake, it happens to us all. Mine occurred as early as August 23rd 2027, otherwise known as the fateful day when Cristiano Ronaldo attempted to try his hand at management. Yes, the peacock you see in the picture above thought himself personable enough to look after fifty players, and it went like you might've imagined - awfully. Having been given the job at Spurs (Daniel Levy must've forgotten his medication that day), he proceeded to dismantle a young squad that had won the title not three years ago. Presumably they told him he looked fat. Shockingly, Spurs became embroiled in a relegation dogfight, and Ronaldo was sacked. He then popped up at Blackburn, Newcastle and Leicester City, wreaking his own brand of metrosexual destruction along the way, taking clubs down like the immaculately manicured anchor he turned out to be. I believe he now plies his trade at Scunthorpe and that in itself is hilarious. However, the fact that I stuck around to see this travelling circus tells you everything you need to know.