In honour of GTA Vs upcoming release this year
, we take a look at the top five things we would definitely like to see in - and out - of the latest entry in the series.
In: Hawaiian shirts
A Hawaiian shirt says a lot about a person - its a real statement. Frequently that statement is Im an idiot, but sometimes it means that youre a fun guy, a guy who likes to live on the wild side, a guy who likes his drink in half a coconut. Its no coincidence that the minute Hawaiian shirts left the GTA series, a little of its soul left too. If we get a sniff of a Hawaiian shirt in GTA V then, like seeing birds when lost at sea, we know its going to be alright .
In: A new phone
Nikos phone was representative of its time - a bit slow. Nowadays, were listening to MP3s, watching YouTube, checking our location on Google Maps and even playing GTA 3 on our phones. GTA V better catch up. Forgetting the fun Rockstar could have with apps for a minute - just imagine taking your music and radio stations with you even after stepping out of a car
. GTA has become famous for its soundtracks - its time to hear them all of the time and not just behind the wheel.
GTA IV saw planes cut from the roster of vehicles you pilot, leap out of or crash. Taking place in a fictional New York, it is completely understandable that Rockstar wanted to avoid any controversy that this could stir up. With the upcoming release of GTA V however, time has moved on and the setting has moved back to the West Coast in Los Santos. Could we see the return of jets? Fingers crossed.
An over-the-top vehicle or two wouldnt go amiss, Rockstar. The tank had limited purpose and was only really useful for prolonged kamikaze missions when you knew it was going to end badly. Getting in the tank, you understood that five stars and no real chance of escape was inevitable, but you did it anyway. The tank is your trusty steed when you feel like anarchy.
In: A sense of humour
In GTA IV, Rockstar seemed to be going for a more serious tone with a game that aimed for critical acclaim over chuckles. Despite the technical achievement of the return to Liberty City, GTA IV was relatively soulless and didnt have a lot of heart. The Ballad of Gay Tony showed that perhaps they understand the need to lighten it up a bit. Bring back the laughs, Rockstar - GTA V is your chance to recapture the magic.
Out: The gym
The opening of GTA: San Andreas gave CJ the opportunity to visit the gym. It could be seen as a commentary on the monotony of achieving body-perfection, or a reductive statement on the spartan level of interaction possible via the controller, but really it was a load of old arse. Endlessly battering the X button to make sure that CJs look matched the warfare you were about to put him through was a bad idea for an opener. Now that the series is heading back to CJs home turf, lets hope the gyms there are closed.
Hey cousin, you want to go bowling? was the only way a call from Nikos cousin Roman could get any worse. Everything about Roman was terrible - bowling mini games, rotten missions, constantly going on about womens chests. Its as if Rockstar rolled up all that can drive you mad about the GTA series and made it polygonal flesh. Romans antics were so infuriating that they spawned their own memes. Hey Rockstar, you want to have cousins in GTA ever again? The answer will always be no.
Out: Constant mobile calls
If it wasnt Roman calling you about bowling, it was a cast of other assorted fools who always seemed to phone at the worst possible moment. To make matters worse, ignoring the calls could hurt your relationship with important characters. There was an option in your mobile phones menu to turn off these calls, but it was buried deep and reset every time you loaded up the game. Do us a favour, Rockstar - encourage your characters to text more and not take a hissy fit if we dont pick up.
Out: Driving all over town to your mission
Previously, to get to a mission you had to get halfway across the map. Once you got there, you would find out that the mission actually kicks off another half a map away. If you were to catch a bullet in the face during the mission, you could be sent back to the very beginning of this chain. Also, in the frustration to get back in the fray, you could easliy end up waylaid by cops on the way to the trigger point
. If Rockstar were to start the missions closer to the trigger points and let us respawn back at the beginning of the mission when we die, rather than halfway across town, we might actually get through a GTA game from start to finish with a smile on our faces.
Out: Call back at 6am
What sadist came up with this? You drive and you drive to the trigger point for a mission and are told to come back the next day at 6am. Thankfully GTA IV didnt run in real time, but waiting the half an hour for it to cycle really felt like it. If you go to the bank on your lunch break, it can be a kicker to find out that the staff are all off down Greggs - do we really need our games to recreate the frustrations of real life?