5 Weird Places No Video Games Should Go

3. Sex, BDSM And Most Fetishes

There's no two ways about this. Sex in games is always hilarious. It's always so tacked on and meaningless with the characters ending up with silly looks on their faces. The hidden Hot Coffee in San Andreas was absurd, the Witcher 2 has soft-core porn and Mass Effect gave us space underwear. Rarely, if ever, is sex sexy in a videogame.

At least all we're forced to do is watch the bad, overly contrived sex. We don't actively take part in the sex (with button prompts! Anything else is just weird) and we aren't responsible for what moves our characters pull. Imagine the scene:

Commander Shepard: I love you Miranda.

Miranda: It might be be the last time we get to be together like this.

Commadner Shepard: Then lets make it count.

Miranda: Mmm yeah, oh, ah Shepard, it doesn't go th-

TOP SCORE!

See, we definitely do not need to be responsible for getting Shepard some back door action. As a visual and interactive medium, this would just be plain weird, and we'd all probably need a shower to wash away the dirty feeling afterwards.

 
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Contributor

Corey's been in love with games ever since he first met a bandicoot many moons ago. Since then he's discovered he'll play pretty much anything, except karaoke games. He spends his time writing, listening to classic rock and drinking perhaps a little too much Guinness. You can follow his Irish internet ramblings on his Twitter @Corey_Milne