8 Video Game Weapons That Are Genuinely HORRIBLE

When weapons get weird.

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They say that a video game hero is only as good as the tools they wield to get the job done, and for the most part that's very, very true.

It's unlikely that the Big Evil plaguing the land is going to stop in their quest to put every Mom and Pop store out of business through leaving devastating Yelp reviews with just a few harsh words, as here "The Rod Of Slappening" is definitely required to vanquish this horror.

In fact the link between video game characters and their weapons is as synonymous as the literal Link is with The Master Sword, in that a good firearm, set of tonfas or even blade the size of a school bus can come to define not just a heroes skill wielding it but also the hero themselves as an icon within the video game industry.

Yet let's get down to fossil fuels here, there is no such thing as a "good" weapon, as at the end of the day even if you're exterminating evil you're likely doing so by causing extreme pain and suffering to your enemies, and some weapons even go so far as to make their method of exiting this mortal coil as painful, agonizing and even humiliating as possible, and you know what?

That's a bit of a d*ck move.

8. Land Shark Gun - Armed And Dangerous

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The Land Shark Gun from the incredibly underrated Armed And Dangerous is a weapon that is deeply hilarious until it's suddenly not.

I say this because the very sight of watching an enemy be torn apart by a shark that somehow swims through bedrock and then bursts through the ground is an utter laugh riot, the sheer spectacle of absurdity being something that could only exist within the realms of a video game. However, it's only when you switch the game off and sit back to think about the mechanics behind it that the Land Shark Gun becomes a weapon of terror like no other.

Just think about your final moments on the receiving end of this weapon, of watching that fin swim through matter like it actually didn't, and then feeling the rumble of rubble beneath your feet before a gigantic shark clamped down on your torso.

Yet your end has only just begun my friend, for now, you will be thrashed about for a moment before being dragged down into the ground itself, and trust me that is not a killing bite that the shark has on you.

Instead, your death will likely come either from suffocating under the earth as you're dragged down to hell, or even more horrifyingly, you might be torn apart as soon as your body hits the dirt as, you know, bodies don't go through solid floor.

Either way. Ouch.

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Jules Gill hasn't written a bio just yet, but if they had... it would appear here.