9 Things That Are Only Impressive In Video Games

Don't try this at home. Well, don't expect a medal anyway.

To the hundreds of millions who so thoroughly enjoy them, video games are a uniquely interactive medium allowing for equally uncommon experiences; to those who know or care little about them, they are often "those things my friend likes." In either case, video games are known to have a distinct flare€”from their many quirky aesthetics and genres to the general culture of the industry€”that is used to identify them. For those who fall into the aforementioned group of enthusiasts and even for the most tentative of fans, however, that flare is rooted in more obscure and often hysterical qualities that go far deeper than mere design. Indeed, you need only complete a handful of games to understand that they're all just plain weird at times. Sega's Resonance of Fate at one point tasks the player with repairing a sewing machine. Naturally, the only way to do so is by dismantling a nearby and apparently sentient tank. Have you tried increasing your endurance in Shadow of the Colossus? You do so by eating lizards. Upgrading your storage in Borderlands 2? Give ingots of purple metal to a psychopath. And let's not get started on Skyrim's famously injured guards or the tendency of Japanese RPGs to save the world via the power of friendship. There's no shortage of bizarre logic to pull from video games, nor is it a problem. In fact, every bout of mental gymnastics€”when not openly game-breaking€”simply adds to the character of that particular game and to the industry as a whole. Where would Portal be without its cake, after all? It'd be among a markedly more comprehensible fan base, that's where; but that's beside the point. Curiously enough, there is some overlap between real world and video game situations. Of course, the realism in those connections is stretched thinner than a rubber band leashing an elephant. Here are a few you might recognize.
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A freelance games writer, you say? Typically battling his current RPG addiction and ceaseless perfectionism? A fan of horror but too big a sissy to play for more than a couple of hours? Spends far too much time on JRPGs and gets way too angry with card games? Well that doesn't sound anything like me.