7. Toeshoesusa.com
Toe shoes, the shoes "for toes and twats," have their own website. If you wear them, "Don't be shocked if people point at you on the street. They are jealous." However, you should beware some of the things people will ask you if you wear them: "People will ask, 'Why are you wearing clown shoes?', 'Are those medical socks for a fungal infection?', 'Where's the rest of the monkey costume?', 'If those were designed to give ultramarathoners a competitive edge, why the hell are you wearing them in the supermarket?'" Toe shoes are especially great for women who are fed up with men staring at them as they exercise. As the website says, "Nothing is guaranteed to cash you out of a man's spank bank quicker than a pair of toe shoes. With the REPULS range, even the most beautiful woman can work out in peace, completely stripped of all sex appeal."