SoulCalibur V Review [Xbox 360]

rating: 4

'Patroklos sacrificed his family and lit the flames of hope . . . he does not regret it.' According to the infinite monkey theorem, a monkey randomly typing should eventually create a Shakespeare. If this is the case, then we can only assume that the work experience boy at Project Soul produced Soul Calibur V's main quest by dropping his phone into the toilet for two hours in the hope it lands on a narrative. The result is more than awful, a truly extravagant mess that attempts to tug the heartstrings with a tale of arseholes fighting each other for some reason, moral harmony blah blah blah; they didn't care and neither do I. The story, driven by a heady mix of stunted dialogue, poor cut-scenes and 'charming' sketches, is hilariously bad; you will find yourself clutching at the laughing gas, desperately wondering why you are still conscience. Thankfully, in between the dialogue are some pretty good fights. Perhaps I am doing Project Soul, the developers, a disservice; unlike most, they have attempted to sew a single-player narrative into the combat experience and explain why these violent men and heartily buxom women are fighting each other. However, they might have been better served creating a coherent tutorial mode instead; new players are flung in at the deep end with only a small screen of text explaining buttons for company. That's it. No guidance, no dummy to try combos out on, nothing. Whilst this is not an issue for veterans of the Soul series, everybody else, like a blind baseball player, is left only with the option of hit and hope. Now, I'm not a great wielder of fighting games; I'm above button-bashing, but below actually being able to take anybody who can combo, which makes me about average. However, some I tested the multi-player mode with are hardened pros of the fighting genre, and they insisted that it wasn't complicated or versatile enough to suit their expertise. If this is the case then it effectively hits a no-mans land where none dwell. This outlook, however, overlooks one major factor; it is still bloody good fun. The gameplay changes from Soul Calibur IV now make for a more offensive-based experience. Blocking is performed in tandem with the critical gauge, but still requires precise-timing. The new quick-shuffle to step out of the way of opponents is an extremely useful move, leaving opponents in your wake and fresh for the kill. The new critical gauge is used to power critical edge attacks, performable by each character using the same button combo. Whilst effective and flashy, none are particularly memorable and, though useful, they are often forgotten during the heat of battle (though that may just be me). These new features definitely add something to the combat and give it a clear, um, edge over its predecessors. Graphically, it looks fantastic, with chunky, luscious backgrounds inhabited by a detailed, if somewhat unimaginative, roster of characters (including the traditional unfeasibly large and bouncy breasts). New characters, like werewolf-hybrid Z.W.E.I, offer new combat styles, whilst Ezio Alditore (of Assassin's Creed fame) and his daggers fit in well with the big weapon/little weapon motif, unlike the ridiculous Yoda-in-space scenario of the last edition (I hear Lady Gaga might be in the next one). Combat is fast and rhythmic; at no point do you ever feel out of a fight (hello there Street Fighter IV) but class normally shines through; the sign of a well-balanced fighter. Computers players are good but not unbeatable, giving the player confidence until they get their arse kicked on the lag-free online mode; the rivals mode and ability to watch replays of fights, yours and your rival's, make it worthier than most in the genre. Outwit the main story and the online features, the normal fighting modes like Arcade are there, along with a quick battle option and the aptly-titled Legendary Souls mode, a succession of fights against high level opponents; a prospect which experienced fighters will take great pride in beating. The creation mode is superb as always, and offers plenty of flexibility in fighting style and look for players who want to create new, convincing characters (or versions of old ones, if you feel nostalgic/bitter). For all its faults and lack of real accessibility, Soul Calibur V must still come highly recommended. Although more could have been done to accommodate those not used to the series, the new abilities definitely improve the fighting and give it an impressive, if perhaps limited, sense of depth. The online mode is well-handled, if daunting, whilst the vivid, charming details of the fights themselves are a joy to behold and even greater fun to be a part of. If, instead of the story mode, you read a chapter of Dostoevsky in-between arcade mode bouts, then you might be heading towards a five-star stormer; as it is, it will have to be content with just being a very good fighter indeed. Soul Calibur V is available for the Xbox 360 and Playstation 3. It was developed by Project Soul and published by Namco Bandai, and is out now.