These Video Game Difficulty Spikes SUCK!

If you ever want to feel like a human piece of low, then I fully recommend playing any of the Ninja Gaiden games, as they are pretty much purpose-designed to make life feel completely meaningless. Hell, the series is so utterly rude with its player base that it can't even offer them a helping hand without poking them in the eyes first.

"Oh is the game too tough for you, you little baby?"

"Well yeah, I think any game that starts with three assassins in a small room attacking me all at once might be a little unf-"

"little stupid baby. You want me to lower the difficulty for you?"

"Actually yes please that actually would make this a lot more enjoya-"

"Ok you stupid, ugly, fat little baby. Here I've made things easier for you"

"Oh...ok thank you?"

"But now you have to wear this pink bow and I'm going to make the world know you're a weak, smelly little baby by having the mode you're on called Ninja Dog Mode because you're my bitch"

Like if that was a real person, that person would be very much in prison for slapping ice cream out of the hands of orphans or something equally mean. And yet, the earliest iteration of Ninja Gaiden was somehow even worse!

In Stage 6-2 of Ninja Gaiden for the NES, the game ramps up its difficulty levels to such brutal fashion that The Hague called it in to stand for war crimes. The level is a gauntlet filled with enemies that respawn quicker than the obstacles in the goddam wind tunnel from Battletoads, and there are sections in which you literally have to take damage in order to get past, using precious I-frames in order to sneak by certain enemies.

Thanks to the horrendous enemy placement and spawning rates it's easy to get pushed into one of the many, MANY insta-kill holes in the floor which of course send you right back to the start. FUN RIGHT? However what really takes the piss and also years off my life is the end boss of this stage, who basically just walks from side to side-firing off the sort of attacks that will melt your face like a nuclear bomb made of sick riffs. Even professional players are lucky to make it out of this dance with death with a sliver of health left, so what chance does Johnny Wet Pants over here have?

Absolutely none.