These Video Game Items SUCK! (On Purpose!)

Video Games are about escapism, about leaving behind the dull and dreary lives we lead, and embracing fantastical over the top action or monolthic quests of heroic deeds and derring do. We're not Bill from a failing motor insurance company, but BROBNAR! Warrior barbarian who doesn't sneeze blood whenever he meets another person he finds attractive.

Yet some developers aren't content with letting us envelope ourselves in these worlds of myth and mystery becuase every so often they'll stop trying to craft a narrative and just have a laugh at our expense! Worst still, sometimes these cheeky little whippets will do such a good job of poking fun at us that they'll even put in literally useless items just to mess with the player and we won't realise we've had our chains yanked until we're hours deep into the experience!

I tell you it's enough to make your blood fizzy! So let's take a look at when !*$% developers made us the butt of their jokes as today we're looking at video game items that sucked ON PURPOSE!

No one likes being hard up when it comes to cash, especially when you're forced to choose what you spend your finite pennies on and there's a tonne of stuff you need. For example, do you go down the boozer with your mates and have a sociable pint, or do you, I dunno, pay your girlfriend's ransom money who's being held hostage in deepest darkest Peru?

Well, this certificate for coming in third at the pub quiz probably should tell you that I shouldn't be put in financial situations like this. Therefore it really grates my !*$% when I see items like The Poverty Board from Snow Kids, which not only is a completely middle of the road board when it comes to its stats but actively and bizarrely STEALS YOUR MONEY AS YOU RIDE IT.

Seriously in what universe would I want to lose all my hard earned coins, which could be spent on buying better boards, on a ride about as satisfying as clinging to a bucking bull where the saddle is made of hypodermic needles. However, while this is quite literally the devs having a laugh at your expense, it's not the only board that bungles my whiz, as the ICE BOARD is utter smelly garbage.

Now I know that the aim of this game is to get from point A to point B as quickly as possible, but there's one teeny-tiny issue, and that's usually that the courses of this game are not straight shots to the end, and it's here where the Ice Board quite literally falls over because you can't turn without eating enough white powder to make Scarface jealous. One joke board was bad enough but two! Are you taking the piste?!