These Video Game NPCs SUCK!

As much as you might fancy yourself as the digital savior of the universe thanks to the sheer power fantasy offered up by the video game medium, you're not the only person inhabiting that space, after all, saving the world isn't going to mean much if there's no one actually on the planet to revel in your glory.

That's why nearly every video game imaginable contains a slew of other characters, some of which join your personal cabal, and others that just make up the unwashed masses, and while most of them will go about their days, helping where they can or offering goods and wares to help you on your journey, some of these NPCs are utter annoyances.

From offering utterly terrible advice, or terrible offensive support, sometimes these helping hands end up strangling the experience entirely as you now have to worry about protecting their asses while being made to look one yourself in the process as you get lit up by enemy fire. Sometimes it's nice to have a supporting cast, but here? We were better off adventuring solo.

Sometimes in life, it's more than okay to ask for a helping hand, as after all a problem shared is usually a problem solved far quicker.

Yet when it comes to video games, the issue of offering the player some assistance is a hard tightrope to walk. Either the game doesn't offer enough support and it then is down to the community to create guides and tutorials to help explain what the chuff to do, or they are aggressively hand-holdy and will tell you each and every step how to play, which often feels more annoying than helpful.

Yet you know how to make even incessant "helpful" chatter even more infuriating? How about making it so that some of the advice you're being given is not just inopportune but also flat-out wrong.

Now as cat owners like myself will attest to, felines, no matter how cute are, on a base level, utter aresholes, a fact demonstrated to painfully obvious levels when they rub their puckered holes all over your pillow and headbutt you in the morning to get the f**k up and feed me. Therefore is it any surprise that The Cheshire Cat from American McGee's Alice is a source of gaping frustration?

Not only does this freaky feline chime in with almost nonsensical prose as you carry out your actions, but does so with both alarming frequency and even more alarming inaccuracy. Sometimes voice clips will pop in from the wrong sections, or he'll tell you of enemies you've already just beaten, but best of all he'll even tell you that some of your weapons will do damage to yourself if not used carefully, which is a blatant lie outside of The Dice which can do damage to you if there are no enemies around.

If I want your help I'll ask for it, and considering the type of help you're giving, I'll never be asking.