Some people will say that gaming peripherals have come a long way from the gigantic, pointless chunks of plastic that were once so lovingly shoved down our throats and mashed into our eyes via their oddly dressed over enthusiastic wielders in TV advertisements. I say that todays peripherals are as equally pointless, but smaller. Each new generation of consoles brings with it a ray of light and hope that those previous ideas, which were out of reach by the limitations of the previous console, would come to fruition this time around. Those ideas can range from the creation of a new epic franchise to the incorporation of a nifty feature through DLC that prolongs a games life. Other ideas, however, focus on what extra piece of kit can be dreamed up that is deemed essential to go with the console, something that the controller cant manage, or doesnt look or feel as cool doing it with our beloved pads. What follows is a horrific look at some of the atrocities that were let loose on the gaming public in the past. Everyone knows were a gullible bunch, give us a mildly attractive girl with breasts holding something with a recognisable logo or cool name and were all over it.
4. The Konami LaserScope
Bravely appearing on the NES, the Konami LaserScope wanted to reach out to those red leaders, those Pete Mavericks and those with freakishly small heads. Breaking down the name LaserScope we have an exciting product name straight off the bat, high five to that guy over there who cooked it up. Lasers have been a gaming staple on the screen but to have something with the word laser appear physically in our hands us gives gamers quivers, but to then inform us it actually sits on our head, with a laser guided target covering one eye, and its voice activated! Well thats a whole weeks worth of boxer shorts quivers right there. The LaserScope was a light gun solely built to partner the Konami game,
Laser Invasion, but could also double up and be used with any game that required the Nintendo Zapper. The Zapper I will allow, only because I had one. Plugging into the audio port of the console, all gamers had to do was sit there and utter the word Fire! Lo and behold a damn laser would shoot on screen and blow something up, the gamer would joyfully scream Yes! and another laser would fire. What? the gamer would say. There goes another laser. Im not even saying fire! Laser, laser, laser, laser and laser. The peripheral reacted to anything that was said, even background noise, so holding in those farts became more important than holding one in during class. Wasted ammo, wasted breath but more importantly, wasted money. I rarely say this, but damn you, Konami! http://youtu.be/BrzTfP-PNt8
Up Next: Sega's motion detector that failed to detect motion...