10 Least Festive Christmas Songs Ever

1. Johnny Mathis - When A Child Is Born

Back in the eighties and early nineties, long before you could Bluetooth your Spotify playlist to your car stereo, you knew Christmas was finally coming when Dad dusted off the Christmas cassette and stuffed it into the car’s tape deck.

Last Christmas, Merry Christmas Everyone, Wonderful Christmastime; the Christmas hits just kept on coming and we loved them all. Genre didn’t matter, neither did quality, each one was indelibly linked with presents, food, decorations and a fortnight off school.

The exception that proved the rule was When A Child Is Born, a tedious dirge that doesn’t even mention Christmas. Yes, this 1976 Christmas Number One, talks portentously about a special child being born and sure, you can argue that this allusion to Jesus recognises the true meaning of Christmas, etc. but even then, it seems to be suggesting some future child, a second coming or resurrection, that might not even be born at Christmas!

Either way, this tune utterly fails to inspire any festive feeling.

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Chris Chopping is a writer, YouTuber and stand up comedian. Check out his channel at YouTube.com/c/chrischopping. His dream job would be wrestling Manager and he’s long since stopped reading the comments section.... Follow him @MrChrisChopping on Twitter.