1. Shoulder-Sitters
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N46jDgk5sxk Without doubt the bane of every single concert-goers life is the Shoulder-Sitter. Most commonly witnessed in their natural habitat of music festivals, the shoulder sitters, like the Stiletto Lady come in two forms. The first is the Attention Seeker, and is more often than not found to be wearing a bikini, a pair of sunglasses and a stupid hat. The second is the Awkward Sitter, often a slightly larger lady who seems to shuffle uncomfortably, knocking all who surround her for the duration of her elevation. Both will throw their arms out wide and pull a face of undeserved spiritual serenity. These fiends obstruct the view of a good 100 or so people unlucky enough to be stood behind them, like an inopportune fleshy eclipse. And they aren't restricted to just the ladies either, the male form tends to show itself as an extremely drunk, kick-friendly pleb, who will, thankfully, end up falling from his perch. It is with great glee that a trait has arisen at festivals the world over, to fight back against these pillocks on pedestals in a manner similar to the crowd surfer. The thing that Shoulder-Sitters never seem to take into account before embarking on their climb is that they will be irritating a crowd of hundreds, most of whom will have some form of beverage holder in their hands at the time. What ensures is more or less an alcoholic adaptation of the arrows blocking out the sun scene at the end of 300, and a major hissy fit for the now soaked moron as they thump back down to a socialy acceptable level. So now you know what not to do at a concert...please, continue to not do it.