We've all been there. Stomach rumbling louder than the core of Krakatoa, dreaming of those sweet chicken balls with egg fried rice you just ordered from the local Chinese. Pacing the house like a mangy dog; that 20 minute delivery wait can seem like an eternity of starvation. Then, that sudden euphoric victory as the doorbell sounds. Yes! Come at me, crispy duck! Beef chow mein, let me slather myself in you! But what if that didn't happen? What if, 45 minutes later, your greasy oriental banquet still hadn't arrived? Well, of course, any normal human being would call the takeaway. Not everyone. One idiot from Cornwall decided this wasn't a drastic enough solution. He dialled 999 to demand police prosecute the Chinese takeaway because the meal he was expecting was 45 minutes late. He told the operator: ''The Chinese takeaway I ordered is 45 minutes late. I want you to prosecute the takeaway for ripping me off.'' That takes the meaning of 'hangry' to a whole new level.
1. My Wife And I Ate Some Brownies, And Now I Think We're Dead
"Time is going by really really really really slow." Ah, the joy of space cakes. In what can only be called a karmic cautionary tale, this cop built up a nice little marijuana collection confiscated from his suspects, and decided to bake up some brownies. Once he and his wife were full, and high, he thought he was dead, and called an ambulance, apparently ignoring his ability to ring the police as an indication that he wasn't in fact dead. A few minutes into the emergency call the stoned policeman randomly asks: "What's the score on the Red Wings game?". Oh my god this is too much. I think I'm dead, I really do. This has to be the most priceless, side-splitting 911 call on the Internet: A few hours after the call Sanchez realised that he was in fact, not dead, and time had returned to it's regular flow. Know any more ridiculously dumb 999/911 calls? Share them below!
