10 Staggeringly Absurd Conspiracy Theories

3. Bin Laden's Death Was Faked!

Article 1382893 0be0385800000578 390 634x323The Theory The US had, by early 2002, killed Bin Laden in the Tora Bora mountains and kept his death unannounced to gain support for the war on terror; Or, he died of natural causes or a disease: Or, he had been working with the Americans as a double agent for ten years and was assassinated to boost Barack Obama's popularity ratings before the 2012 election: Or, he is still alive and being kept in a secure location akin to Guantanamo: Or, he was killed elsewhere and the Pakistani's implied as having harboured him to drag Pakistan into the War On Terror. The Proof It's a tall order to come up with credible proof when even the conspiracy theorists can't agree which version of events is 'the truth'. Most, however, seem to believe that the lack of photographic evidence of a corpse, a 25-minute blackout in the live feed during the assault, and the swift disposal of the corpse at sea after the assault all point towards some degree of fakery. The Truth While there is no photographic evidence, there is DNA evidence that the body was Bin Laden's-surely it's easier to fake a photo than it is to imitate a completely unique, accurate to the odds of umpteen billions-to-one strand of DNA? While it's also true that the Marines disposed of the body very quickly, citing respect for Muslim law, they did try to find a nearby country willing to take the body within 24 hours. As was the case with Saddam Hussein's sons, they received no co-operation. The contrast in violent terrorist activity after photos of the dead Husseins were released, and after the Bin Laden images weren't, ratifies the decision.
 
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I am a freelance writer, currently residing in Newcastle Upon Tyne, England. I was raised by wolves in the woodlands of Northumberland, but am still posher than Colin Firth having dinner with The Queen. I write all of my pieces by swallowing a cocktail of scrabble tiles and vodka, then regurgitating them over my jotter. Hope this explains the typos.