10 Weirdly Pretentious Adverts That Make No Damn Sense

3. Davidoff €“ Cool Water For Men

All of Davidoff's Cool Water commercials are insatiably ridiculous, however the original is probably my favorite. The music is what kills it, but the fact that a gorgeous man who swims naked in the ocean and jumps off docks willy-nilly is set up to be a blue collar worker by day and a rare cologne connoisseur by night is completely baffling. Also, did I see his bare tush, or was that just my under-stimulated mind up to its old tricks again? Seriously though, it's a cologne, not a lifestyle. I understand that commercials are supposed to sell more than a product, but no-one's lifestyle involves running around naked and jumping into oceans while being incredibly sexy and being courted around by an African-American youth. Unless, of course, they are a male model who was hired by Davidoff to star in their newest cologne commercial. Wearing this cologne will make you smell wonderful €“ I guarantee it. It won't, however, make you smell like the ocean, make you unbelievably sexy, able to swim around nude whenever and wherever you like, be comfortable enough to swim around nude whenever and wherever you like, and €“ most importantly €“ it won't be sold in a mysterious block of ice from behind the Macy's counter.