5. That Time You Couldn't Get Them Off Because You Were So Drunk
Don't laugh. It's happened to all of us at one point or another. You've come back from a night of dancing, you're clutching your bag, a kebab and your house keys. You've made it into your home: success! And now to get unchanged and get into bed and hope your head will stop spinning enough for you to fall asleep quickly and forget all those terrible dance moves you were pulling tonight. Shoes: off. Dress: off. Bra: off. Tights: urgh, why are you so annoying? Why are you so long and stretchy? Why are the feet so far away? You balance on the bed and try to reach for one foot, but your motor skills are so drunk right now. The tights are half way down your legs, but you've somehow managed to get your arm all twisted up in the crotch area. Why won't they just slide off effortlessly? Whoops - you've fallen off the bed and are lying spreadeagled on the carpet with your boobs flopping every where and your legs tied together by this infuriating piece of clothing which no one needs anyway. Screw it: you're sleeping on the floor tonight.
I love Stephen King and music festivals; I eat my toast upside down; I daydream about getting married probably a bit too much; and I wish every day for a pet sausage dog puppy (who never materialises – sob).
