It's not incontinence; it's just something to do. Seeing as you've drunk all that water, your body needs to release it. So why not go to the toilet? Sounds like a good idea doesn't it? When you inevitably get there, you'll realise that the toilet doesn't judge you like your bed does. You'll probably spend a lot of time in the bathroom as a result, just getting to know the area in a way you really couldn't if you'd slept properly. You'll notice how the floral patterns on the wall look a little bit like that creepy spotted red robot from Robot Wars that kept getting set on fire. If you eventually manage to prize yourself away from your new home, you can finally try and sleep...until your bladder calls again.
8. Having Something On Your Mind
Whether you're internally conflicted about the Ukraine/Russia crisis, or you simply can't chose whether or not you want chips for tea the next day, attempting to sleep with something on your mind is a completely impossible task. You try to count sheep, but then you realise that after the sheep have jumped over the fence, they're still heading for an inevitable demise. This makes you think about the possibility that the sheep might be symbolic of you and your psyche is using the image of a sheep to hint to you that you probably shouldn't be sleeping in the first place. P-Diddy doesn't sleep that much does he? But at least he gets some. Sleep is for the weak they say. They should change that phrase to 'sleep is for the healthy'. That's certainly a much more accurate concept in the large scheme of things.
7. Focusing On Your Jaw
WARNING: This knowledge can turn normal people into panicky, dysfunctional insomniacs. Thinking about your jaw while sleeping is a surefire way to ensure a completely sleepless night. Once it's set, the tension it takes to keep your jaw up is an unbearable distraction from relaxation, that works just as well as if you'd consumed gallons of black coffee. Try and forget about it. You can't can you? Told ya.
