22 Problems Only People From Gateshead Will Understand

11. Glory-Hunters

Mostly because Newcastle United are terrible and have no chance of winning so much as a spelling test, when there's a sniff of Dunston UTS or Gateshead getting towards a final in the Vase the crowds mysteriously swell with supposed die-hards. They turn up in their hundreds, shouting Heed Army but unable to name any players who aren't on loan from Newcastle and then evaporate just as quickly when it comes to playing glamour ties against Dartford in the league.