4. Tony DiNozzo- NCIS
To NCIS fans, DiNozzo's addition to this collection of douche-bags is probably on the more controversial side of things. To some, he's the comic relief in an otherwise very procedural TV show, where his snarky one-liners break up the explosions and international conference calls that take place on a weekly basis. To me, he's just an arrogant twit who could do with being taken down a peg or two every once in a while. I cannot stand Tony DiNozzo. His jokes aren't funny, the constant put-downs he regularly hands out to McGee are childish at best, rarely appreciated and almost never reciprocated. He even has the nerve to insult him for his love of RPGs and other such geekiness when every second line that comes out of his mouth is a reference to some terrible movie. Don't get me wrong, I love movie trivia as much as the next avid movie goer, but his double standards are particularly hard to swallow. I could maybe forgive all of this if he wasn't so glaringly incompetent compared to the rest of his work colleagues. At present, Tony works in a team featuring an ex-Mossad agent, an MIT trained computer forensics expert, an ex marine sniper, a brilliant pathologist and a forensic technician who covers everything from ballistics to arson attacks. If anyone's going to be stupid enough to blow contaminated powder across a busy office, fall in love with the person he's supposed to be undercover spying on and hit on the women who turn out to be vicious murderers and terrorists you can guarantee it's him. To me, his bland insults and readiness to mention the faults and failed marriages of his peers just shows him trying to compensate for being completely out of his depth. To his credit, DiNozzo has been fiercely loyal to his team and boss, which somehow gives him a divine right to behave as unpleasantly as he likes without any repercussions and for his overall lack of contribution to go completely unnoticed. Were it up to me, I'd make Tony a victim off the recession and saddle him off with a redundancy package. Fortunately for most NCIS lovers, it isn't. Phew. Rant over.