10 Lamest WWE Returns
2. The Ultimate Warrior (WrestleMania XII)
If you only watch one squash match this month, make sure it's Hunter Hearts Helmsley vs. The Ultimate Warrior. Do it right now. Knowing what Triple H would eventually become, it's hilarious watching him get tossed around by a big, daft lunatic already so far removed from his era that he'd have been more at home in a museum than a wrestling ring in 1996, despite his big pop. Warrior eats a Pedigree then pops immediately to his feet. It's tremendous.
The comeback moment itself isn't what's lame here. It's literally everything else.
The WWF and wrestling in general had moved on from Warrior. The game had evolved when he hadn't, with fans' tastes shifting from big, bright cartoon characters, making Jim Hellwig a man out of time. His post-WrestleMania presentation was awful, too. A Goldust feud yielded a rancid stallfest at In Your House 7 and in July, three months after returning, Vince McMahon terminated Warrior's deal for skipping his shows and taking some self-prescribed time off.
Warrior's justification? The death of his father, apparently, but he supposedly made that up. Hell of a guy.