10 Least Effective Swerve Turns In Wrestling History
Bro. Bro. They'll never see it coming because it DOESN'T MAKE SENSE, bro!
There is a hidden treasure trove of brilliance on the fringe of the Internet, for which we thank the tireless efforts put forth by the various curators of banter.
YouTube is so amazing in this regard that we can even forgive the nihilism-generator that is the comments section. We now know precisely how abysmal Tom Magee truly was: his version of pro wrestling was some sort of hilariously unintentional interpretive dance. We can now let WWE off for its problematic past. What's a spot of widow-pestering and woman-shaming, when certain wrestling companies once promoted race-swap (!) storylines?
Some lunatic out there once pitched, credit SquaredCircle, an Undertaker Vs. Kofi Kingston fantasy booking angle in which a disguised, love-scorned Kofi struck a pregnant Michelle McCool with Trouble In Paradise (bit of a giveaway) before serving up a commiseratory treat at the funeral. With a strange enthusiasm, given the ostensibly über-grim occasion, McCool said "this so good, what is it?"
"YOUR BABY," came Kofi's response.
And, back in 2014, Vince Russo decided to remove his focus from this message board in order to fantasy book RAW on his official website. If you think that is pathetic enough in itself, you haven't stumbled across it; on his first day of the job he wasn't employed to carry out, his first suggestion saw him book - yes - a swerve turn following a heel versus heel match.
He pitched this idea because it is the only idea he ever had…
10. Johnny The Bull
Scrutinised too closely, the idea of babyfaces and heels, particularly in wrestling's endless theatre, is totally absurd.
A babyface is the de facto better wrestler, but prone to idiocy. A wrestler automatically becomes cowardly, or at least inferior, when they turn to the dark side - but cleverer. We ignore this strange contrivance because it freshens stale sh*t up, or, on rare occasions - the Bret Hart/Steve Austin double turn, then, now, forever - resonates with plausible dramatic heft. We have to care about the performer to give a toss, basically.
Enter Johnny The Bull.
A friend of fellow Noo Yawka Big Vito, he came to his aid following a 'Stickball On A Pole' match versus Reno on the September 11, 2000 Nitro, at the climax of which Sean O'Haire interfered. Johnny, about whom few cared, swerve turned on Vito, about whom few cared, joining the Natural (lol) Born Thrillers, about whom few cared.
This wasn't just ineffective in a vacuum; this was just one of countless swerves that ruined the integrity of the wider product and audience investment in it, and, to underscore that, Russo booked another undercard swerve just six days later...