10 Things That Would Happen If Today’s WWE Wrote The Attitude Era
1. The Warzone Goes 3 Hours!
The Attitude Era...only more of it? Take everybody's money!
Another hour, man. Think of the possibilities.
Think of the tempered wild brawling style as the WWF seeks to protect its overworked stars, instead of using creativity and hard graft to utilise the rest of the roster, through interminable chinlock spots that double as a very tiresome sort of meta heat.
"Boo, Mideon! Do an actual move, you boring sh*thead!"
"But you're getting annoyed, and that is heel work 101," he shouts back, in a protest echoed by the few remaining contrarians watching who cannot comprehend that effective heels actually maintain audience interest.
Marvel as highlights of that really, really boring Big Boss Man Vs. Mideon match are replayed endlessly. Marvel as that really, really boring Big Boss Man Vs. Mideon match is scheduled for next week's RAW with the outcome, inevitably, reversed.
Look on in wonder as, to fill time, that really, really boring Big Boss Man Vs, Mideon match, all of the three really, really boring Big Boss Man Vs. Mideon matches, are booked to go 15 really, really boring minutes because how else can WWE pad out the runtime?