10 Wrestling Jobbers So BIZARRE They Feel Made Up

Not even this pair of dicks.

Don't be shocked by such language. That's precisely what Richard and Rod Johnson were supposed to be during their brief stay in TNA right at the top of the promotion's launch in 2002. Smug manager Mortimer Plumtree represented the tag-team, and they had an elaborate backstory to go along with some of the worst outfits known to man.

According to lore, Dick and Rod had bullied poor Mortimer at school. Now, implausibly, he called the shots, and he wanted them to win big in Total Nonstop Action and make it up to him. Yeah, that wasn't going to happen. You can't stroll out on weekly pay-per-view looking like unpainted action figures, tell the world that you're meant to be walking penises and then achieve stardom.

Wrestling is a weird business, but there are limits. Rather literally, The Johnsons were cast as wrestling genitals. There wasn't much else to the gimmick. They were penises. Big. Giant. Grappling. Penises. This was seemingly something those calling the shots at TNA figured fans wanted to see in 2002. Why watch Brock Lesnar tearing it up in WWE when you could see some willies taking the fight to James Storm and Psicosis?

The latter had been a key part of WCW's Cruiserweight Title division for a spell, so he must've thought he'd gone from the frying pan into the fire with this TNA-inspired mush. In total, The Johnsons lasted for exactly 2 matches before they were hoofed in the stones and sent through the exit doors.

Rude.