7. (If Loving You is Wrong) I Dont Want To Be Right
In mid-2001, musclebound midcarder Perry Saturn legitimately assaulted WWF jobber Mike Bell in the ring after losing his rag with the man mid-match. Supposedly as a punishment for that, Saturn was booked to have suffered a serious concussion at the hands of the APA, and began acting oddly thereafter, saying and doing peculiar things and finishing every segment with a childlike and utterly random youre welcome!. The highlight of the Perry-Has-Brain-Damage angle (which isnt saying a lot) was when Saturn fell in love with a mop, which he called Moppy. Saturn had previously been involved with Terri Runnels, and on an episode of RAW in July 2001, Runnels had had enough of being humiliated by a cleaning tool and demanded that he choose between them. Perry, of course, chose Moppy. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwjFx6RXU6c Whats that? Why, yes. Yes, it is still a better love story than Twilight.
Jack Morrell
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Professional writer, punk werewolf and nesting place for starfish. Obsessed with squid, spirals and story. I publish short weird fiction online at desincarne.com, and tweet nonsense under the name Jack The Bodiless. You can follow me all you like, just don't touch my stuff.
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