The Last Perfect WWE Raw
More graphics of matches still to come remind us that Nickelback were only the second or third worst Kevin Dunn theme guys, as man-of-the-people John Cena says goodbye to R-Truth, Eve Torres, Gail Kim, Santino Marella and Yoshi Tatsu in a bit that feels like a bit of a rib at the expense of the extras. Of all of them, only Truth would outlast Cena as a full-timer in the roster IRL, despite them bidding him fond farewell here.
After CM Punk quite hilariously dismisses the latest shouty lads who provided the soundtrack to the prior night's pay-per-view, it's to the ring and to 'The Champ' at the top of the second hour for a ratings-gobbling goodbye.
An all-but forgotten segment thanks to the story it led to, this is really quite brilliant in isolation. The Orlando crowd are kind in the shadow of Survivor Series, and Cena steers into it with a thoroughly joyous conducting of the "Let's Go Cena/Cena Sucks" audience orchestra before that got played out.
The whole thing goes a tight 10 minutes and Cena does a f*cking fantastic job of mirroring a Ric Flair or Shawn Michaels retirement to mask that he'd do a run-in later in the show. It had no right to be this good at the time, let alone viewed with a decade of retrospect. The kids captured on camera seem to believe it, and - unlike in some of their actual matches and confrontations - the audience actually respond to an interaction with Randy Orton as they shake hands and he solemnly walks off into the night. In his purple merch.
He's not yet made it out of the building when Wade Barrett emerges from absolutely b*llocks-knows-where to repurpose his "Can't See Me" taunt as a wave goodbye. He's a magnificent a*sehole, and it's impossible not to feel guilt on WWE's behalf that they let him down to such a degree.
Enough of that for now because we've got to get to Daniel Bryan dating both Bella Twins.
CONT'D...