The WrestleMania 33 Awards!
Who were the biggest winners and losers at the 'Show of Shows'?
WrestleMania. You wait all year for it, and then just seven short hours later its all over for another twelve months. It's like Christmas, if you ignore the details beyond Chris Jericho's festive scarf.
Still, the event may have been and gone, but the fallout will last for the next month or so, as every wrestling writer on the planet scrambles to deconstruct the show's best moments, where it went wrong, and what it all means for the future. It's never about living in the present.
But for every serious assessment of WWE's supershow, there's a two-bit hack like myself who favours frivolity over, er, 'fought'-fulness. Hey, wrestling's supposed to be entertaining! Let's not get all bogged down in whether Roman Reigns should have won (he should have) - it honestly doesn't matter.
What we should get bogged down in is handing out imaginary awards, some earnest, some less so, to the performers on wrestling's greatest jamboree. What was the best match? Who had the best outfit? Was Triple-H's Tom of Finland inspired entrance the best of all time? (Look him up.)
So roll out a mile-long red-carpet for... the WrestleMania 33 awards!
15. Best Entrance: Naomi
Every self-respecting wrestling fan (an oxymoron?) knows that the most important part of WrestleMania isn't what goes on between the ropes, but the aisle-way action. And with a ramp-way the length of Italy, WrestleMania 33 had few excuses not to deliver on its entrances.
Ultimately, the avenue of lights' mammoth size had the opposite effect; most entrances were broken up with a vignette, and those that weren't took bloody ages. The less drawn-out ones featured superstars on vehicles, though it is hard to decide if a leather clad Triple H riding to ringside on a trike surrounded by police officers was totally cool or totally camp. Bit of both.
However, there was one entrance which shone. Or rather, glowed. There are many who think blacklights are kitschy relics of the '70s, and whilst they aren't strictly wrong, Naomi's ingress was nevertheless clearly amazing. As an added bonus - as if the Floridan sun wasn't enough - all that UV flying about was bound to top up your tan. Science.
Runner-up: Bray Wyatt
A spectacular light-show the envy of Lyon's Lumiere - but really more the function of an eager crowd than any production magic on WWE's part.