John Cena is 37 years old. Hes been 37 for about 10 months. But in the past few weeks, that 37 suddenly became 67. You know who else is 37? WWE Champion Brock Lesnar. So is the Celtic Warrior Sheamus! Hey, Sin Cara is too. That mask must be hiding all those wrinkles. Well, lets hope that no wrestler in WWE finds out that Big Show, R-Truth and Mark Henry are all 43, or that Chris Jericho is 44, Goldust is 45 and Kane is 47. Triple H has a WrestleMania match coming up soon, but maybe he should re-think things since hes 45. It's better not to mention that Sting is 55, which in WWE age means he shouldve died of old age 10 years ago. I realize that WWE needs to try and create new hooks for every feud, but Cenas age seems like a bit of a stretch. After all, hes still wearing jean shorts and baseball caps. Its not like he started dressing like an adult the past couple years to make him seem older. Besides that, Cena largely appeals to children, who are now being told their favorite wrestler could basically be their grandpa.
As Rust Cohle from True Detective said "Life's barely long enough to get good at one thing. So be careful what you're good at."
Sadly, I can't solve a murder like Rust...or change a tire, or even tie a tie. But I do know all the lyrics to Hulk Hogan's "Real American" theme song and can easily name every Natural Born Thriller from the dying days of WCW. I was once ranked 21st in the United States in Tetris...on the Playstation 3 version...for about a week.
Follow along @AndrewSoucek and check out my podcast at wrestlingwithfriends.com
