Theres a lot of reasons to dislike John Cena. Sure, he does a butt load of charity work, hes put on some great matches with a variety of opponents over the years, and he truly seems to love the business. But his humor is awful. Its hard to tell if Vince McMahon or John Cena is less funny. Remember back in the day when Cena was an up-and-coming star and he would pull a package of peanuts out of his shorts to make a homophobic joke about his opponent? Dont choke on each other, choke on deez nuts! Well, he sunk back into his pants on SmackDown and pulled out his balls. No, he didnt expose his genitals and get fired from WWE forever unfortunately. He instead pulled out a couple of baseballs to infer that Dean Ambrose had none. So, we are left to assume that sometime between Monday night and Friday night (within the terms of a story since SmackDown is taped on a Tuesday) that John Cena was at his mansion, perhaps getting ready for bed, perhaps yelling at Nikki about candles, and came up with joke about Dean Ambroses lack of testicles after receiving his invitation to appear on Miz TV. So, then he went to the store to buy two baseballs, and then stuffed them in his pants all in the name of a bad joke. What are the odds that next week hes going to shove a hot dog down his pants and make a weiner joke?
As Rust Cohle from True Detective said "Life's barely long enough to get good at one thing. So be careful what you're good at."
Sadly, I can't solve a murder like Rust...or change a tire, or even tie a tie. But I do know all the lyrics to Hulk Hogan's "Real American" theme song and can easily name every Natural Born Thriller from the dying days of WCW. I was once ranked 21st in the United States in Tetris...on the Playstation 3 version...for about a week.
Follow along @AndrewSoucek and check out my podcast at wrestlingwithfriends.com
