Man, I hate the E in WWE. The entertainment sucks. On Main Event, Gold and Stardust competed against The Usos in a game called How well do you know your bro? Well, at least it wasnt a dance-off right? Wrong! First off, JBL isnt funny. Its painful to watch him try, but all hes doing is make a couple people backstage chuckle. Thats all he does, all the time. He made jokes about Michael Cole, backstage agents Billy Gunn and Road Dogg, and of course took a shot at McMahons all-time favorite target in Jim Ross. Second of all, The Usos arent funny either. Jimmys impression of a football player was a bit of a fumble, and I hate myself for saying that. Its also fortunate that the guys in charge of theme music had Rikishis theme ready to go, even though they had no idea that would be coming up. Is Bastion Boogers music ready to play at any time too? Could John Cena stop mid-promo and say Now cut Rico Constantinos music! And not his first theme song, but the second one! To end the segment, The Usos won the stupid game, and then attacked Gold and Stardust completely unprovoked. Just a minute earlier, they were laughing at one of their jokes, then they kicked them both in the face. That was one of the biggest heel moves of the week! During the segment, Michael Cole audibly asked Could this get any worse? Great question Cole! The answer is yes, but only if Kathy Lee Gifford and Hoda smacking wine bottles over each others asses was also involved. Time to kick out.
As Rust Cohle from True Detective said "Life's barely long enough to get good at one thing. So be careful what you're good at."
Sadly, I can't solve a murder like Rust...or change a tire, or even tie a tie. But I do know all the lyrics to Hulk Hogan's "Real American" theme song and can easily name every Natural Born Thriller from the dying days of WCW. I was once ranked 21st in the United States in Tetris...on the Playstation 3 version...for about a week.
Follow along @AndrewSoucek and check out my podcast at wrestlingwithfriends.com
