5. The Pointless Priest
Kubert makes Damian Catholic for this book just so Damian can talk through his problems without it seeming like the cheesy old Batman comics where entire pages were taken up with exposition-filled thought bubbles. But the priest Damian confesses to seems very familiar so who is he? From his appearance alone, and because of his noticeable absence in the rest of the story, many readers speculated that it was Jim Gordon. It looks like Jim because of the classic glasses and moustache combo - but it's not Gordon. The hints are there when he says "I have known and respected your family for a long time. I have cared for all of you" and "Your methods run counter to your father's strongest code of ethics" Gordon was close to Batman but these comments sound a bit too overly familiar. Then in a scene when the priest goes around to the confessor's side of the box, Damian's gone the classic Batman disappearing act. Later on in the story, we get the reverse when the priest tells Damian about the Joker and Damian goes to the priest's side of the confession box only to find the priest gone. The whole situation was a contrived visual representation of the famous phrase "Like father, like son" the priest is Bruce in disguise. We never see the priest again but we see Bruce shortly afterwards kidnapped by the fake Joker. But why did Bruce dress up as a priest? Wasn't he in a coma? Actually it seems that he was pretending - in one panel in issue #2 he opens his eyes after Damian announces he's going to be the new Batman and leaves. So why pretend? I have no idea. Trying to make sense of this book is impossible! Also, why couldn't Bruce simply talk to Damian and advise him that way? Because Kubert's a terrible writer and the whole priest thing was an idiotic waste of time.