10 Things Marvel Wants You To Forget About Wolverine

2. He Was A Marvel Shill

Marvel Heroes Wolverine
Marvel Comics

Wolverine is the best at what he does and what he does is reassure Marvel shareholders that they've made a good investment.

Back on the 90's, Marvel had a novel way of producing annual reports. They sent shareholders reports in the form of comics, drawn to look just like the products that were currently on the stands, only with dialogue boxes full of how great their stocks were doing. For some reason, they decided the best spokesman for the company was a character whose idea of a severance package is decapitation.

In one report, Doctor Strange searches out other heroes because he simply has to know how Marvel's stocks are doing. Wolverine is only too happy to tell him that Marvel's debt has fallen as he slashes apart steel girders.

In an even more insane comic, Wolverine and Hobgoblin crash into a warehouse full of toys. Logan then beholds the giant symbol of the Gerber Baby floating in the sky like some kind of angry god and starts screaming in all caps about their line of children's toys and baby monitors.

It really doesn't help that his eyes have been inexplicably coloured red while he's talking about how Gerber lets you watch babies while they sleep.

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Contributor

I was just a mild-mannered NCTJ accredited journalist until one day I found out the truth... that I could share my nerdy ramblings with people on the internet! It's just like mumbling to myself on the train, but without all the strange looks.