Although Spidey does make a fair old go of it. In fact he makes a far better go of it than somebody who gets introduced as a total loser geek should. For a kid who, in his everyday guise, is a shy, retiring, dorky nerd, Peter Parker has a lot of game. Not only are the loves of his life - Gwen Stacy and Mary Jane - supermodel-level beauties (literally in MJ's case), but he's also been pursued by countless over beautiful women. That's right, pursued. Beautiful women are just throwing themselves at this dweeb, before they even find out that he's Spider-Man, which must be a total chick magnet! Spidey is the opposite of Terry Long. Where Long was a way for Marv Wolfman to hook up with a cute teen superhero, Spider-Man is an escapist fantasy for his readers. It's not a new idea, it's the whole reason the webhead is one of the most enduring and popular characters in the genre: after all, he's a bullied, socially anxious young man like most of his readers. Except he gets superpowers and can fight back against the bullies, the way the readers wish they could. They wish they could get impossibly attractive girlfriends, too, which is why the wall-crawler does. Objectively, this makes no sense. At best Peter has a kind of awkward, clumsy Hugh Grant-type charm, but really he's just a brainbox who can't hold a conversation and cancels dates at the last minute. Where's the appeal? Not only that, but Black Cat is totally into him as Spider-Man - why wouldn't you be? - and immediately loses her lust when he reveals his face. Surely that's the most damning evidence that Peter Parker has way too much game than to be realistic. (Sorry, Spidey)
Tom Baker is the Comics Editor at WhatCulture! He's heard all the Doctor Who jokes, but not many about Randall and Hopkirk. He also blogs at http://communibearsilostate.wordpress.com/
