Saga Volume 2 continues Marko and Alanas story of escape and romance by Brian K Vaughan (Y: The Last Man, Ex Machina) and Fiona Staples (Mystery Society) in this surprisingly popular Image series. I say surprising because what little story comprises the series is so riddled with plot holes and the characters and their actions are so anachronistic and contrived that its amazing so few readers have picked up on them and stopped reading. But Vaughan is nothing if not a master of the long form story as his previous titles prove so perhaps his fans are hanging on for him to give them a more rounded view of his sci-fi fantasy thatll answer all naysayers. But what is Saga? Theres a star war going on somewhere in space between two races, one on a planet and the other on a moon. Marko and Alana are from each warring side so should be enemies - except they fall in love, have a hybrid child together and go on the lam. Pursued by both sides (for some reason - but more on that later), they must evade assassins and enemies in their quest to escape the endless, futile war that defines their existence to find a peaceful environment to raise their child, Hazel, who is also the series narrator. Volume 1 ended with Marko, Alana and Hazel on board a flying tree meeting Markos resistance fighter parents and losing their ghostly babysitter, Izabel. Whereas Volume 1 set a blistering tone, throwing the reader full-on into the books world and introducing the entire, large cast in one dollop, Volume 2 slows things down somewhat, explaining some of the more confusing aspects of the first book through flashbacks. One of my complaints about the first book was that Marko and Alanas romance - the single most important part of the series - was totally unconvincing and contrived which Vaughan addresses by showing us how they fell in love in this book. We find out Marko was taken prisoner by Alanas side and sent to a detention camp - why hes not executed outright isnt clear - where Alana is working as a guard. The two meet and bond over the course of a few weeks through a spacey Mills & Boon-ish romance novel called A Night Time Smoke where two people from different alien, warring races fall in love.
This piece of crap novel is portrayed as such an incendiary read that it changes the way two people think, bring them together, and change the course of their lives. Heres an excerpt from A Night Time Smoke:
Contessa went to uncork something with a duck on the label, while Eames fisted couch cushions in search of the remote. Hey, did you tape Cake Haters? Sh*t, she yelled from the kitchen. Sorry, I spaced. Eames just shrugged, as Contessa returned to refill their glasses. Its fine. This season has kind of sucked anyway.
Fisted couch cushions? That is terrible writing. That is a novel I cannot even begin to see would change anyones mind or life in any way shape or form. It also reads exactly like Vaughans writing and the way his characters speak in Saga, Y: The Last Man, Ex Machina. Its a big problem for me as A Night Time Smoke already reads like a badly put together trashy novel but its able to change the minds of our two heroes. In other words, our main characters are idiots. Forget that they have no literary taste, a bad novel is able to change their minds - indicating that theyre not too bright - enough to completely change their lives. And its the catalyst for this entire series! I realise some people might overlook this point entirely but I cant get past the fact that our main characters are dumb - I just cant respect dumb people as heroes, let alone root for them to succeed. Judging by this volume, the series is seriously running out of steam. A large chunk of the story features Marko and his mum looking for Izabel on a barren world inhabited by a giant naked fat guy with a club. And before we get back to the plot, let me address something that really bothered me about this book: the childish shock factor. This giant dude gets his own page sized panel where we get a good look at his junk - giant cock n balls. Really? Did we need to see that? Are Vaughan/Staples so desperate for attention that that scene was necessary? And speaking of attention-seeking, a few months back there was a furore over Comixology refusing to sell a copy of Saga #12 because of a gay sex scene. Well, that issue closes out this volume and its not what you think. The stupid Prince TV-head is injured on the battlefield oozing some kind of blue liquid and on his screen is showing a gay porno where a dude is sucking off a bunch of other dudes. This is maybe 2 panels tops and dont even cover the entire panels but it is so completely unnecessary that it just reeks of the kind of meaningless childish rebellion that you would think two (seemingly sophisticated) adults had grown out of. Look, Im no prude, if the gay sex had been integral to the character or the plot in any way, Id stick by the decision and applaud it, but the way its done in this issue is so crassly pointless, it just seemed pathetic.
Also strange (not to mention exploitative) was the full page spread of Marko and Alana having sex,
narrated by their child! It struck me, not for the first time, that Hazel is telling the story of her parents from the future so shes showing us everything she thinks we should see - including her parents having sex! Given the child-like writing font used whenever shes talking, it makes me think shes between 6-11 years old, and yet shes ok with showing us very graphic depictions of her mum and dad in coitus. Isnt that weird? A non-sexual child being so blasé about sex? Not to mention seeing her own parents go at it and in such detail! So back to the plot. While Marko and his mum are killing time, Alana and her father-in-law are learning about each other. Alana ties him up with some magic she learned despite him not having done anything to provoke her, further underlining my distaste for Alana, an unlikeable, hostile, and stupid person who is unfortunately one of the main characters. Meanwhile, the worst bounty hunter ever, The Will (in this world all bounty hunters have the prefix The making them all sound like third rate rappers), is still mooning over the little girl held captive as a sex slave in Sextillion and with the help of Markos ex, Gwendolyn, gets her free. Remember, this is a guy whos expected to kill a baby - thats the whole reason hes been hired. Why havent his employers fired him yet? After all of that, the groups cross paths as The Will/Gwendolyn catch up with Marko/Alana and co. - The Wills spaceship by the way is one of the most badly designed spaceships Ive ever seen - it looks exactly like a sprout. Following some conflict, Lying Cat winds up injured and floating in space for a while - something that should kill any living thing. Then The Will jumps out of his ship (which is exposed to space), somehow catches up to Lying Cat and gets back to his sproutship. Everyone is unharmed including Gwendolyn and the little girl. This is one of those glaring plot holes that really bother me about Saga and how its never addressed that nothing that happens in this story has any consequences. Lying Cat, The Will, Gwendolyn and the little girl should be dead - but theyre not. Just because. Its like in the first book when Marko is healed by the magic snow - its Vaughan writing himself into a corner and then using a deus ex machina to get out of it. In other words, sloppy, hack writing. All roads lead to D. Oswald Heist for some reason, the author of A Night Time Smoke. Looking past the fact that Heist looks like Hemingway (if he were black and had one eye), and that the parting conflict between Heist and Prince TV-head comes out of nowhere, Heist does say some interesting things that I think apply to this book: I just wrote myself in circles until I hit an acceptable word count... there cant have been much to the plot, right? Dialogue which pretty accurately describes Saga. Heist also says Well, you know what they say, the reader is the final collaborator. Cheers for doing the heavy lifting. Hmm... fans of this series? Regarding the lack of plot, Saga is about two warring factions who are hunting down Marko, Alana and Hazel. I still dont know why. One side says because its a disgrace to the memory of their fallen soldiers, another for similar reasons about impropriety and bad PR - but were talking about 3 people! Theyre trying to escape the conflict entirely, racing as far away from them as possible. So why not just let them? Most people wont know about them, the few ones that do can keep quiet, and itll be like they never existed. Just dont report them on the news - stop mentioning them and let them leave their galaxy or whatever and the whole thing will blow over. Done. Sorted! See what I mean about flimsy plot and how Heist nailed it?
I didnt hate the book entirely. Markos parents were a breath of fresh air and Staples artwork is still the high point of the series, but its remarkable how many people love this series unreservedly despite the numerous inconsistencies and mistakes there are in it. I appreciate that Vaughan is just going for it, letting his imagination run wild - its a sentiment and an ideal I can definitely get behind - that and the strong anti-war message prevalent throughout. But the problems with unfettered ideas in a fictional story is that storylines can go nowhere, characters can seem contrived and/or extraneous, and the overall story can seem as underthought and badly planned as Saga seems to be more and more.
Saga Volume 2 by Brian K Vaughan and Fiona Staples is out now