10 Ridiculous Upcoming Movie Performances That Sound Like Jokes

The Emoji Movie, as a concept alone, is one that - like The Angry Birds Movie before it - stands as an indicator of how far we've regressed as a collective species. No matter how ingrained emojis have become in society at large, there's no way on God's good Earth that we ever needed a fully-fledged motion picture.

But wait - there's more! Rounding out the cast of this animated monstrosity in the making, you'll find T.J. Miller, James Corden, Stephen Wright, and - wait for it - Patrick Stewart. Now, the other actors, I can take, but Jean-Luc Picard? Professor X?

Look, I know the man is nearly 80-year-old and has therefore earned the right to an easy paycheck, but c'mon - he is playing the POOP EMOJI. You know, the brown one with the cheesy smile that people often mistake for ice cream.

That has the makings of a fake news story gone viral, but it isn't: Stewart has help to usher in the filmic apocalypse. His character even wears a bow tie.