10 Sleaziest Films You've Never Seen

The best Elves and Nazis movie ever shot in Colorado (in 1989, anyway), Elves stars Grizzly Adams himself, Dan Haggerty, as a homeless ex-cop who realizes that elves are in fact Nazi genetic experiments whose leader will mate with a virgin on Christmas Eve to produce the leader of the Fourth Reich. As is explained in The Book of Revelation.

What he doesn’t know is that the virgin in question is kindly waitress Kirsten, who when she’s not drawing naked chicks with “Art deco boobs” or having her ablutions interrupted by her potty-mouthed brother, is being knocked around by her Nazi grandpa, who is also her father. Gramps, you see, impregnated his own daughter to sire Kirsten, whose destiny is to produce a master race of Nazi Elves.

There’s ideas and (intentionally?) funny dialogue to spare in this overlooked treat, whose labyrinthine (some might say tasteless) plot is credited to three writers. Never mind Poltergeist and Fantastic Four, this is the movie we want to see being remade.