10 Upcoming Horror Movies That Are Already Doomed

Horror is a many splendored thing, and that's why why love it. One day we sit down to a new entry in a classic slasher franchise, the next we're watching a maniacal demon clown take people apart piece by piece, and then we're tuning into a killer girl doll singing Kate Bush. 

But just because such variety is so readily available today does not mean the genre has undergone any drastic improvements in quality over the past few decades; neither does it mean that because a horror film makes it to the cinema it will be artistically credible, profitable or able to stand on its own two severed stumps. 

Indeed, there are a few disasters coming this year and next, and we are the canary in the coal mine, here to warn you of what's on the way. Just because The Conjuring has name recognition doesn't mean it's worth watching, just because Scream got Sidney and Stu back doesn't mean the filmmakers know what to do with them, and just because The Strangers has somehow made it to Chapter 2 (the fourth film in the franchise) doesn't give it a pass. 

They are surely doomed, all doomed! And it will be an unholy miracle if any of these 10 films make it out alive.

Nobody asked for the Twisted Child Universe, but by god if we aren't getting it - again and again and again. 

After failing to pay out on the grisly promise of recently untethered characters like Winnie the Pooh and Peter Pan, Rhys Frake-Waterfield and Jagged Edge Productions continue apace, determined to ruin all our favourite childhood characters - just not in the way they think. And the next instalment in this rushed series of messy and disappointing horrors is Pinocchio: Unstrung.

The film promises a Pinocchio who, robbed of his innocence, sets out not to become a real boy, but to right the wrongs of a sick and nasty world. His crusade will be in the name of all things good, and his methods will be bloody. But is anyone still watching?

The hype was major for Blood and Honey, but after Frake-Waterfield failed to deliver on that and its hurried sequel, the initial excitement was lost. No doubt the pace of these things is designed to get them out while there's still some semblance of interest, and before word has fully gotten out about the films' questionable quality - but is this enough?

On top of that, there has also been an awful lot of Pinocchio media recently, what with the 2019 live action film, Disney's 2022 live action remake, and Guillermo del Toro's 2022 masterpiece, which is surely the final word as far as adaptations of Carlo Collodi's famous work go.