18 Hilarious Amazon Reviews Of 2017's Oscar Movies
Pretty sure that was written by Mrs Wahlberg...
You can always rely on user reviews to offer you both a real reflection of The People's opinion on any given product and a microcosm showing absolutely everything wrong with the world in one place. Somehow, Amazon reviews have become the flaming forums of old, taking down beloved films, celebrating the enduring love of Mark Wahlberg, or remarking on the seemingly endless political agendas at work in Hollywood.
And all done with characteristic venom and occasionally some of the finest comedy writing outside of Saturday Night Live. Where better to find comment from the real men and women of the cineplexes on this year's Oscar crop?
At the same time, these reviews offer flashes into thousands of lives touched by the films, with a rare opportunity to see how real life impacts the viewing. It's not like "professional" reviewers offer such context or hint at the romance and tragedy of real life while tearing films down. It's a lost art and it deserves more celebration.
Even the "best" films of the year - or at least those identified by the Academy as the most worthy of praise of the year (rightly or wrongly) - aren't safe from the occasionally hilarious, very often entirely unhinged cross-hairs of Amazon's colourful reviewing community...
18. La La Land
Nominated For: Basically everything.
According to reviewer Teutonic Knight, La La Land lacks magic, is a typical boy-meets-girl romance (presumably he turned off before the devastating end montage), and is full of "quiet moments in this film in which the dialog is just trivial and boring."
Wooden acting, poor singing, a simplistic plot... "Pleasant but very two-dimensional." But at least the jazz club scenes are nice, and there is a helpful caveat that "if you want to see a similar film with much more depth, dancing, excitement, comedy, and catchy music, check out the 2005 flick Bewitched!"
Imagine the tragedy behind this.