EVERY Halloween Death RANKED By Stupidity

Spitz - Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers

Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers Spitz
Galaxy Releasing

If you have sex in a horror movie, particularly a slasher movie, particularly a slasher movie in the 1980s, chances are that things won't work out all that well for you. And that was indeed the case for Spitz.

Getting up to some action in a barn with his girlfriend Sam, Spitz is stabbed through the back with a pitchfork. With that, it's game over for him.

This was a nothing character, with a so-so death sequence, in an awful, awful movie.

J. Black - Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers

Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers J. Black
Galaxy Releasing

One of those tasked with moving Michael Myers to Smith's Grove in the opening moments of Halloween 4, simply known as J. Black, this fella is largely responsible for the chaos and carnage of this entire movie and beyond.

It's worth noting that by this point in this particular timeline, Michael has been comatose for ten years following the events of Halloween II. So, when J. Black decides to start talking about Michael's only living relative - that'd be Jamie Lloyd, of course - that's enough to wake the Shape from his slumber.

Mid-transfer, Michael smashes J. Black's head against the ambulance wall, then sticks his thumb through the guy's forehead in one of the film's more memorable kills.

Samantha Thomas - Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers

Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers Samantha Thomas
Galaxy Releasing

While it did appear that Sam might have been killed off in two-for-one fashion while having sex with her boyfriend Spitz, she at least managed to stick around a smidge longer than Spitz. The result was the same, of course, but she was presented with a chance to fight back against Michael.

Now, to fight back, that meant having to yank a pitchfork out of your dead boyfriend's body, but she at least had a weapon. Granted, she did an awful job of using that weapon, failing massively when trying to attack Michael with that fork, and the result was Michael killing her with a scythe.

Truth be told, she'd have been far better just trying to make a run for it.

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Senior Writer
Senior Writer

Once described as the Swiss Army Knife of WhatCulture, Andrew can usually be found writing, editing, or presenting on a wide range of topics. As a lifelong wrestling fan, horror obsessive, and comic book nerd, he's been covering those topics professionally as far back as 2010. In addition to his current WhatCulture role of Senior Content Producer, Andrew previously spent nearly a decade as Online Editor and Lead Writer for the world's longest-running genre publication, Starburst Magazine, and his work has also been featured on BBC, TechRadar, Tom's Guide, WhatToWatch, Sportkskeeda, and various other outlets, in addition to being a Rotten Tomatoes-approved film critic. Between his main day job, his role as the lead panel host of Wales Comic Con, and his gig as a pre-match host for Wrexham AFC games, Andrew has also carried out a hugely varied amount of interviews, from the likes of Robert Englund, Kane Hodder, Adrienne Barbeau, Rob Zombie, Katharine Isabelle, Leigh Whannell, Bruce Campbell, and Tony Todd, to Kevin Smith, Ron Perlman, Elijah Wood, Giancarlo Esposito, Simon Pegg, Charlie Cox, the Russo Brothers, and Brian Blessed, to Kevin Conroy, Paul Dini, Tara Strong, Will Friedle, Burt Ward, Andrea Romano, Frank Miller, and Rob Liefeld, to Bret Hart, Sting, Mick Foley, Ricky Starks/Saints, Jamie Hayter, Britt Baker, Eric Bischoff, and William Regal, to Mickey Thomas, Joey Jones, Phil Parkinson, Brian Flynn, Denis Smith, Gary Bennett, Karl Connolly, and Bryan Robson - and that's just the tip of an ever-expanding iceberg. Where his beloved Wrexham AFC is concerned, Andrew is co-host of the Fearless in Devotion podcast, which won the Club Podcast of the Year gong at the 2024 FSA Awards.