Man-Sized EXPENDABLES Trailer Will Kick Your Balls In!

Sylvester Stallone has made a profitable career playing meat-headed, unstoppable tough guys with heroic hearts and rippling biceps. After an ill-fated mid-career detour through comedy and romance films, Stallone reverted back to form in a big way. Films like 'Rambo' saw Stallone return to his mid eighties heyday, simple films about merciless killing and random destruction. But nothing looks more like a throwback than his upcoming 'The Expendables', which feels like a higher-salaried version of 'The Dirty Dozen'. Stallone has gathered some of the most masculine men in show business to help him support this silly film, and that, more than anything, is the entire reason for making it in the first place... He knows that people will flock to the theater to watch action heavyweights like Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Randy Couture, and Stone Cold Steve Austin spar with each other while kicking serious onscreen ass. To sweeten the deal, Stallone has added Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis in cameos, which means the film includes, for the most part, every seriously masculine male action hero of the last two decades. There is enough testosterone on display to cause hair to grow liberally from the screens during the show. The new trailer for the film trades on this masculinity with enough firepower to make ballsacks ascend with excitement all around the world. The only way they could promote this to men any more would be to hold pissing contests outside the theater. To me, it looks like a lost 80's action film, which isn't a bad thing. It looks like it has the explosions, humor, and cheese required to make it requisite viewing for those upright pissers among us. I'm not sure why girls would ever come to the theater to see this film, unless they're there to service us after it's finished. Which doesn't sound too bad to me.