Terminator Genisys: 10 Things That Would Have Happened Afterwards
1. A Cyborg Is Sent Back In Time To Stop The Film Ever Being Made
Switching into an alternative time-line here, because apparently it's totally ok to do that with no explanation whatsoever, let's imagine a world where Terminator Genisys is just a movie that we've all seen. This should be easy as, regrettably, it's the reality we all currently inhabit.
Mere weeks after the film's initial release, it's already getting panned. Critics have slammed it for being a total mess, fans of the franchise feel like a part of their childhood has been ruined, and Compare The Market - a company that has been fronted by a CGI Meerkat repeating the same joke in a Russian accent for 5 years - is wondering whether they still wish to be associated with Schwarzenneger.
Jai Courtney, a man with bigger arms than you've got legs and a neck like an upturned mixing bowl, will never get a good action role ever again. Emilia Clarke, who 6 months ago was probably the most frequently masturbated over woman on TV, will likely spend the best years of her career as "who you call when Michelle Rodriguez says no". Alan Taylor will be pelted with eggs whenver he leaves his house. Each more deserved than the last.
Fast forward to 2029, and in the exact same spot where the resistance sent Kyle Reese back to protect Sarah Connor, Clarke and Courtney give a killer cyborg it's instructions. Travel Back To 2015... Eliminate Every Executive At Skydance Productions... Prevent Terminator Genisys From Happening.
Duh-duh-duhduhduh.