These Movie Prequels SUCK!

Acting as both a sequel to the first Aliens Vs Predator film but also as a prequel to the Alien franchise, AVP Requiem was always going to be treated like the middle child of both franchises, working with hand me down jump-scares and well-worn plots, while also being largely ignored by the public and indeed the parent IPs.

Still though, don't feel too sad for the film, as it is complete and utter dock dick when it comes to its action and plot, and it's one of the few films in history that I know of that chose to not spend a single penny on scene lighting because it's so dark it's like watching a close up of a Bournville chocolate bar.

I get that they were trying to make the film moody but not being able to actually tell which rubber suit is hitting which is kind of a huge detriment to the film. Surprisingly when it comes to lighting the human idiots of the piece things are at once significantly brighter but also somehow more dull because I hate each and every one of them and couldn't wait for their "I belong in a B-Movie slasher" personalities to be ended with gusto.

So much time is spent on the human element of this film which is, and I can say this with confidence, THE LAST THING ANYONE WANTED FROM THIS FILM ABOUT TWO ALIEN SPECIES KICKING THE PISS OUT OF ONE ANOTHER. There's even a bloody sub-plot within these humans involving bullying, love interests, and coming to terms with mistake of the....do you even care? All of this time is taken away from the actual stars of the film aka Dick Mouth and Crawmerax The Vincible!

Add to this an abysmal "wink wink nudge nudge" effect of repeating lines from previous films in both franchises which feels like you're being winded each and every time by the sheer heavy-handed nature and you've got a film that both sucks and blows.