These Movie Prequels SUCK!

Out of all the film IP's in the known universe, I can't think of anything with less need of fleshing out the core story than that of The Flintstones. The iconic family unit was as established as all the rock-based puns they all love to spout and it felt more than a bit cheeky to take a look at what came before, especially seeing as they were !*$% cavemen at the literal brink of human existence.

Like what actually could come before, a series of half-fish people learning to live on land? I've already got Love Island for that pal.

Anyway, what we did get was the abomination known as Viva Rock Vegas, a film that within the first thirty seconds made me cringe into a singularity with the title splash of "Univershell" and then scream in terror at what I can only imagine is what would happen if Morph the claymation series operated on even less of a budget and was directed by Tim Burton.

Absolutely terrifying. In fact, all of the CGI in this film feels like it was designed by bloody Hellraiser, horrendously creepy and it moves like it's being perpetually stabbed.

However, it's not as terrifying as the narrative which flows like thick soup through a sieve, dripping moments of action but then leaving audiences hanging as they watch painful puns and pointless scenes designed solely to fill out the run time. In fact, the film, despite aiming to be a comedy, is full of dark and rather depressing themes like personal value through wealth, and the divide between the rich and poor. I guess you could call these moments part of a social rock-umentary.

*sigh*

And still, that joke was funnier than half the !*$% film.

As soon as the gang arrives in Rock Vegas you can pretty much write the rest of the plot yourself, they fall out, there are misunderstandings, moments of reflection, a plan to steal all of Wilma's money...in fact wait a minute what actually happens to Wilma's money at the end of this?

Her family is shown to be offensively rich, but in the TV show and other live-action films, the family is always shown to be just managing to get by. There's absolutely nothing to suggest that her family hates Fred post-marriage, especially seeing as her father actually quite likes him, so....are we just to ignore the fact that their lives could, would, and should be a lot easier?

Ah, screw it. I'm putting more thought into this film than even it does throughout its runtime.