10. Feast 2: Sloppy Seconds
The Movie: This 2008 gem was the sequel to a monster/gore movie/dick joke made back in 2005 that I'm still not sure was an honest attempt at a movie, rather than an excuse to pile a mountain of B list favorites in a bar room. Seriously, the movie's cast was Judah Friedlander ( 30 Rock), Henry Rollins (Black Flag), Jason Mewes (Jay and Silent Bob), and Clu Galager ( Every TV show from 1957 - 1995). They didn't even get names. The sequel wasn't that much different. Movie starts out in a small town in the middle of nowhere. Magic (?) monsters are running crazy in the town, killing pretty much everyone and everything. From there, the movie takes a zombie movie-esque twist in which the survivors huddle up in a local garage to make a plan to escape or something. And by survivors, I mean 5 inexplicably topless biker babes, a used care salesman with a 'stache, two twin midget luchadors, a cowboy/bartender, and other people that obviously die. Feast 2: Sloppy Seconds doesn't stand out in plot. Instead, it shows us exactly how amazing big budget horror movies COULD be if they really were ready to go the extra mile. The rag tag bunch of survivors are subject to acid vomit, sharp teeth, and projectile masturbation resulting in poison semen. They combat it with midget catapults, sacrificing babies, and pretty much anything else that just isn't kosher in modern cinema.
Where it Gets Awful: Did you read that last paragraph? It's utterly absurd.
The Game: I've been a huge fan of the Resident Evil games since the first release on PS1. I truly loved the cripplingly small inventory, the obscure save feature, the lack of ammunition, the horrible camera angles, everything. That isn't sarcasm. I'll wager many of the people reading this got some of their first real video game scares out of that series, because it was just so freaking tense. Recently, though, Resident Evil has gone more for the run and gun, kill the entire population of a small nation approach to tension. Their choice, I guess. But why sully the name of a great series while simultaneously producing such sub-par run of the mill zombie obsession crap? Why not kick things up a notch and make a game that stands out in the crowd? That game would be Feast 2: Sloppier Seconds, a fast paced action thriller in which the player has to escape the small, but detailed town they live in while being chased by acid jizz spewing monsters that will only stop long enough to eat the baby you just threw at them. Not that you would do that. You seem like a nice person.