We've all come across them, whining moaning bitches ever-ready to hurl their unwarranted and unwanted lame-ass excuses for when once again they got their butt beat, their pride ploughed and their confidence crushed. It's a pretty close call between their bitching itself being the most irritating or that fact that they think we're interested. Here's some info for you guys, we don't care. I care as much about your excuses as I do about your injured ego. Now that doesn't mean I don't care about you as a person, (although I probably don't) it just means that if you want to make me care (which you probably don't) get some originality in there. Some humour. Some wit. Difficult I know, but if we allow ourselves to be unfettered by truth or even some basic plausibility, we can turn that frown upside down and you can pat yourself on the back because even if you sucked, you at least brought a smile to a cynical old man's face.
10. Lag
When gamers complain that lag is effecting their game, they're actually referring to latency. That's right, geek gamers who if they have one mitigating factor to justify their existence, it should be their encyclopedic knowledge about things that normal people can file under 'Star Trek' as a level of essentiality.. If despite their geekage they are messing up on something as basic as this it's no wonder they're incapable of walking from A to B without getting their gonads shot off by some 12 year old camper. If you hear someone complaining about lag, adopt a precocious air and snort to them that "you mean 'latency', actually". The snort is important. Nothing upsets a geek more than being out-geeked. If however, someone pulls this trick on you, retort 'No, I mean lag. I have jet-lag. Nice attempt on the snort by the way there bro'.