9. Age
Here's a fact of life for some of you young gamers out there: (Young is defined as 'anyone younger than me'). As you get older, you slow down. This is a physiological fact and speaking as someone who once slept with a Biology Professor I know what I'm talking about. Your reactions are determined by a multitude of factors, including the speed of neurological transmission from neuron to neuron, the properties of chemicals within neurotransmitters, and the length of your nostril hairs. So why is 'age' a lame excuse? Because if you're old enough to have these factors brought into consideration, you're old enough to have gathered some experience. You should have the appropriate degree of cynicism to know that all these brats around you will be using every trick in the book to make a fool of you, you don't out-twitch react them, you out think them. If you must use age as an excuse, exaggerate it. If you're 14, say you are in fact 5. If you're 40, say you're 90. Preferably, find a better excuse, this one's lamer than the ants in my old ant-farm. (No mum, the legs just fell off, honest!)